CHAPTER 5 The Great House Hunt: Adventures in Love, Listings, and Lemon Detection House hunting sounds glamorous, right? Browsing beautiful homes, dreaming about where your furniture will go, and pretending you're on your own HGTV show. But once the search begins, reality hits: it’s not as simple as “love at first listing.” Buying a home is exciting—but it’s also like dating someone who looks great in photos but turns out to have commitment issues, a mold problem, and a suspicious basement. So how do you survive the search and actually find the right home without ending up with buyer’s remorse and a thousand- dollar repair bill? Let’s break it down. Start With a Plan (Not a Pinterest Board) Before you start swiping right on every house that has shiplap and a cute porch swing, pause. You need a criteria list. Think: • How many bedrooms and bathrooms do I actually need? • Do I want a yard—or am I allergic to lawn care? • What neighborhoods are realistic? (As in, I’d love a castle on the lake... but let’s be serious.)
• What’s my budget, and what can I afford without resorting to a diet of ramen noodles and regret?
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