• Let them do most of the talking and think they came up with "the good ideas." • Practice empathy, but don't say, "I understand how you feel," unless you've been in the same situation. • Assume the other person has good intentions. • When possible, tell stories to illustrate your points.
Avoid Friction:
• If the other person makes a mistake indirectly, call it to their attention. Ask for clarification — don't confront. • Be quick to acknowledge your own mistakes. • Avoid sounding dictatorial. Put what you want the other person to do in the form of a question: "Would you be comfortable doing this?" or "Does that sound acceptable?" • Help the other person save face. Never make them feel cornered or defensive. Be interested in what they have to tell you. I can almost hear you asking, "But what if I'm really not interested in what they're saying?" Remember, it's a skill that you can develop. Start by acting interested. Then, learn to subtly turn the other person's conversation toward subjects that are more interesting to you . Part of being interested is just keeping yourself alert and engaged. Avoid being judgmental. You don't agree with everything your friends say, right? Just treat the people you meet the way you treat your friends, if you have any. Once you learn this, I have seen considerable changes in customers. I've met some people who came in and were cranky, difficult to deal with, and even downright hostile. I hit it off. I sat down. I learned how to talk to them and listen to them for hours, and then they hired me to help them sell their house. 26
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