Table of Contents INTRODUCTION Is Personal Development Worth It? .................Page 4 How to Learn Something New as an Adult ..................Page 7 Understanding What Motivates You ..................Page 9
What are Your Personal Values? How Can You Establish Them? .............Page 11 Recruiting Support for Your Personal Growth Journey ..................Page 13 Overcoming Limiting Beliefs that Hold You Back .................. Page 16
How to Start Every Day Feeling Great ..................Page 19 Start Your Own Meditation Routine .................Page 21 5 Components for Your Ideal Day .................Page 22 5 Secrets for a Productive Workday ..................Page 25 3 Easy Tips for Fridays ..................Page 27
Increase Productivity by Removing Distractions .................Page 28 6 Ways to Start Over After Setback or Failure .................Page 31 What Does it Mean to Be Efficient? .................Page 33 Quiz: Are You Inefficient? ..................Page 36 How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into the Learning Zone ........Page 38 Building Trust and Rapport with Others ..................Page 40 Set the Tone: Tips for Smoother Communication ..................Page 43
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3 Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Start Being Productive .......... Page 46 3 Ways to Get a Difficult Project Done Easily .................Page 48 Feel Like Quitting? Give Yourself a Persistence Pep Talk .................Page 50
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Introduction Hey guys! It’s Calvin Curry here. Let me ask you a question. How are things in your life, aside from your business? How is your fitness routine, your sense of personal fulfillment, or the quality of your relationships?
As human beings, we should constantly be growing, changing and moving toward our goals. If you’ve just been working feverishly like a hamster on a wheel without setting any true goals lately or taking stock of your current situation, I’m betting you probably feel less than inspired. People need aspirations to work toward. Even if what you’re working toward achieving does not seem connected to your business, the truth is that every kind of growth matters and affects all aspects of our lives. In this guide, Joe Nickelson and I have shared a number of “hacks” for your own personal growth and development. You’ll learn things like how to meet people who will always have your back (including how to filter out those who don’t), how to overcome certain naysayers in your life — even the one who lives inside your own head — how to figure out an optimal schedule for your workweek, and much more. The best part is, you do not need to read this guide from start to finish. These “hacks” can be read separately or all together — whatever works best for you and inspires you to get started on your own personal development journey. Calvin
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Is Personal Development Worth It? At some point, you have probably sat down and created plans to grow or improve in different areas of your life … but then maybe when you set out to achieve all of those plans, you either failed or experienced setbacks, and things didn't go the way you thought they would. This is a common problem for all of us. In fact, experts say that even with new year resolutions — though a lot of people set them — very few people actually achieve them. So, when you create a plan to develop yourself and to grow as a person, it's important to count the costs and make sure you're willing to pay the price to achieve those goals and ambitions. How do you figure out what your growth will cost you? The first thing is to determine what you want to achieve. I know this sounds obvious, but you need to know what you’re going after before you decide if you’re willing to do the work. We’ve all made lofty plans with ourselves and said things like, “ I'm going to get six-pack abs,” or “ I'm going to run a marathon .” However, the truth is that not everyone has it within them to actually go out and fulfill these goals. Use Reverse Goal Engineering. To figure out whether you are serious about a goal, you can try a technique I call reverse goal engineering. If I have a goal, I first determine the steps I need to take to actually reach it. For example, I've had the goal many times of getting six-pack abs, but it's a really steep goal. I would have to not only work out aggressively and go through a lot of pain to achieve this, but I would also have to eat right so I don’t have excess body fat. To be honest, I haven't achieved this goal since I was a teenager, and every time I sit down and count the cost, I question if I'm really willing to go through the pain. So ask yourself, are you willing to do it? What will it actually take? These personal goals could be in relation to health or wealth or relationships, but the question is always the same: how much pain or cost will it take to get it? Be honest with yourself about what it's going to take. And if you're not familiar with what it's going to take, instead of immediately going out and posting on Facebook or telling all your friends or family members that you're going to hit the goal, first do the research and count the cost. If you're not willing to do the work, maybe it's better not to set yourself up for disappointment. We all only have so much time, energy, and money to achieve the goals we want.
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To further illustrate this, think about when you go to the grocery store while you're hungry and your eyes are bigger than your stomach. When I go to the grocery store and I'm hungry, I buy everything — the snacks, the cookies, this and that. Then, I bring it all home and half of it goes bad or gets stale before I ever eat it because I was thinking with my eyes, while my stomach cannot actually put all that food away. Obviously, we're all different, and we're all going to have different goals in life. So, it really comes down to you and your personal desires — which is why I keep saying, is it worth it to you? Are you willing to do the work? Are you being honest with yourself? Count the cost, reverse-engineer the goals, and see if it all makes sense for you. Remember that nothing worth having comes easy. Remember to Avoid the Hedonic Treadmill. Perhaps you’ve heard of the hedonic treadmill. I initially learned about it in a documentary on Netflix called Happy, which I highly recommend, by the way. The documentary talks about how people try to buy their way to success by buying the car, the house, the stuff, thinking they're going to reach happiness, and then, they end up getting discouraged because they don't reach happiness and it doesn’t make life that much better. Those endorphins only last for a short amount of time. For years, I had the personal goal of buying a house close to the beach. When I finally achieved the goal, it felt great. But within six months to a year, the excitement wore off. That's why you see so many people buy their dream home and sell it within a year or two. They get discouraged and move on because it did not give them what they were looking for. Ensure Your Goals are Intrinsic, Not Extrinsic. Want to avoid the hedonic treadmill as much as possible? Ask yourself whether your goals are aimed to better yourself or just to keep up with the Joneses. An intrinsic goal is something that will make you feel better as a person, while an extrinsic goal is something that simply fuels competition in society. Examples of Intrinsic Goals Let’s take a closer look at the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Here are a few examples of intrinsic goals — these will improve your life and your sense of self, but are not related to material goods or your appearance within society.
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● Learning to communicate better with a spouse ● Eating more vegetables and healthier foods ● Spending more time with the kids ● Learning how to meditate or handle stress Examples of Extrinsic Goals ● Buying a larger house ● Trading in a car for a newer one ● Booking a fancy vacation ● Purchasing trendy clothing for the new season
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How to Learn Something New as an Adult
Think about when young children start learning to read, write or solve math problems. If a teacher gave them a single worksheet and expected them to grasp the concepts with just a one-time activity, no one would ever learn anything. Learning something new or forming a new positive habit takes focus, patience and repetition. You certainly can’t expect to reach a goal or enrich yourself without making the effort to do so. That said, here are a few tips for reaching a goal or learning something new. Acknowledge that you might fail or have setbacks. No matter your age, education and background, learning something new or implementing a new, healthy habit is tough. Acknowledge that you are going to have setbacks and failures before it becomes second nature. Be gentle with yourself as you are learning. Set a general time for anything new in your schedule. It’s easier to pick up on something if you do it at the same time every day. If, for example you are trying to learn a new exercise routine, it’s best to schedule it for the same days and times. Trying to do it “willy-nilly” will not teach your brain to expect it and send you a “notification” that it’s time to do it. Give yourself pep talks. Praise is helpful when human beings are learning something new, no matter how old they are. Just as children beam at earning a gold star from their teacher, giving yourself positive reinforcement will motivate you to move forward with any challenge. Celebrate successes. Did you reach a new milestone? Maybe a solid two weeks of sticking to a positive routine? Reward yourself with something positive like a massage or a nice meal.
A word of advice, don’t reward yourself with the very thing you’re trying to change. For example, if you’re trying to eat healthier foods, don’t reward yourself with an ice cream sundae!
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Wash, rinse and repeat as needed. Remember, learning something new takes time and repetition. Whether it’s a class for business enrichment or a new water sport, practice makes perfect, so keep going until you get better.
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Understanding What Motivates You When I was a brand-new salesperson, I did not know what motivated me or what drove me to achieve success. I would hit the pavement with a plan and some goals, and I'd work hard to achieve them. But I always missed that internal connection of exactly why I was doing what I was doing. I knew I wanted to be successful, but I didn't know why! Years later, when I connected to the reason I wanted to be successful and the things that drove me personally, it gave me a better sense of purpose when I was working hard to achieve those goals. First of all, think about your life and where you are today. What is it that you do, and what is it that you think about when you’re attempting to achieve success? Is it your family? Is it financial stability? Is it a greater cause or higher purpose? Or maybe the reason you go to work every day is to prove somebody wrong who said you couldn't do it. Or maybe it's because of some frustration in your life that really bothers you and drives you to want to succeed. Whatever it is, you need to connect with why you’re working hard for whatever you’re working for. Start with why. To help you out more with this concept, there is a really good book I highly recommend called Start with Why by Simon Sinek. In the book, author Simon Sinek talks about how most people know what they do, but they don't know why they're doing it. I want to give you an example of this disconnect as it pertains to real estate agents. All real estate agents know what they do. They sell homes, and they know how they do it. They either work with the buyer or seller. But what is their reason for doing it? These reasons could range from helping others achieve the American dream of homeownership to wanting to be around people every day to simply earning an above-average income for their families. Whatever your own reasoning happens to be, when you connect with why you're doing your job, it's going to bring a lot more purpose to what you do and how you are doing it. When you “start with why,” as the book says, you figure out your personal reasons for working. When you connect to those reasons, they’ll drive you to be more successful and motivate you to get out of bed in the morning and push harder. So, how can you identify with your own goals? Why do they drive you? Knowing the answers to these questions can motivate you even more and help you succeed.
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Don’t worry about other people’s reasons. I would also like to remind you that is it's your life, and these are your goals. Every single person is different. So, even though some other person may want to be successful because of a great cause or purpose, it's perfectly OK if you want to be successful in pursuit of financial stability or being able to support your family. It's your life, and it's your why. Whatever that purpose is that drives you, whatever makes you the most motivated and hungry to achieve success, it’s important to be OK with it. You don't have to align your why with somebody else's goals or belief system. Align it with yours.
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What are Your Personal Values? How Can You Establish Them?
Have you ever had a client that drove you absolutely bananas, and you could hardly stand to work with that person? Chances are, their belief system and their life values directly clashed with yours.
When I was a new salesperson, I would take anybody and everybody who would work with me. Then, as I got busier and busier, I was able to be more selective with the people I actually wanted to work with. I’m betting you probably had a similar path — or you will in the future as you get busier.
That said, I want to talk about how to establish your personal values — or your code of conduct, so to speak — and how to communicate those values to your most ideal customer.
Establishing your values will help you to attract like-minded people who will be enjoyable to work with. Whether you work independently or as part of a larger business, establishing core values is important. Questions to Help You Establish Values When I wanted to establish my own values, I sat down and answered a few important questions for myself as truthfully as possible. These questions included: ● What do I stand for and what do I stand against? ● What do I agree with and what do I disagree with? ● What am I passionate about? ● Who speaks in a similar way to me and resonates with me? What are their values and their belief systems? ● What upsets and frustrates me?
Keep in mind as you answer these questions that I'm not necessarily talking about religion and politics. Honestly, you can share values and belief systems with somebody and still have completely different views when it comes to religion or politics.
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Instead, think about your answers more in terms of your business values. If you’re in real estate, think about what you portray through your marketing, through your business message, through your social media posts and everything else. You want to show your clients what you believe in and what your core values are — both on a personal level and in relation to the product you provide. For example, there is nothing wrong with communicating to your clients how much you love selling homes to families who are looking for their dream house — maybe people who are looking for beachfront or waterfront properties or the perfect mountain view. You would certainly communicate that through your marketing and through your business message. This is how you're going to attract that ideal customer. When you strive to communicate with customers in a certain way on all points of contact, from blogs to emails to social media, you will find yourself attracting the right customers and ideally repelling the wrong ones, based on the messaging you're putting out there. And instead of resorting to throwing up your hands and saying, “I don't want to work with you!” or having unpleasant encounters with clients, you can let your message and your voice be the natural filter.
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Recruiting Support for Your Personal Growth Journey
Let's talk about how to actually recruit support for your life — how to find these people, what to say to them, and how to get them on your side so you get that “push” for your next life milestone. What Kind of People Should Support You? First of all, when you go out and recruit support from others, make sure you know exactly who you're getting it from. Ask yourself these three questions to see if the individual you’re considering is the right person for your support team. ● Do they want me to succeed? Sometimes, the unfortunate truth about friends or family is that you think they want the best for you, but they don't really want to see you go to the next level and leave them behind. So the first question to ask is, does this person want you to succeed? I know that may sound harsh, but the reality is that some people don’t want you to excel. It’s OK to follow your gut on this, too. ● Will they be happy for me when I do succeed? If you called up a friend or family member or whomever you're getting support from and told them about a big success or a lofty goal you just achieved, how do you think they would react? If you don’t think they’d be ecstatic for you or curious to know more, they probably aren't the right person to offer you support. You want people who share your happiness over good news. ● Will they offer positive support throughout my journey? Remind yourself that you want to focus on positive support, not negative. Not all feedback and “noise” is good support, especially if it's from somebody who wants to sabotage you or who doesn't want to see you pass them by in life. Locate Your Support Team Not every member of your support team will live inside your house. There are actually a lot of different possibilities. Yes, the obvious first choice are close friends and family. Depending on what
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you’re seeking support for, friends and family can be a fantastic source. But there are other occasions when you might want someone beyond that inner circle. Those times include:
If you're facing a challenging time or personal setback.
If you’ve recently found yourself struggling with a challenging time or a personal setback, instead of opting to wear your friends and family out with your emotions, it might be better to find a therapist, counselor or some kind of professional who can listen to you and help you on a deeper level than your best friend or mother can. Sometimes, all of us need an objective point of view — someone who is not directly involved in our lives.
You need to reach a non-personal goal, such as a fitness or financial milestone.
If you’re striving to reach a goal that isn’t completely personal, such as weight loss or financial freedom, it’s sometimes a good idea to find a coach or an accountability group or partner. Other people can offer support if they share those common goals. One idea is to log onto Facebook and find a group sharing your goal. Or, if you're going to work out at a local gym, get an accountability partner to encourage you to stick with it. At 6:00 in the morning, that person is going to be at the gym waiting for you, and you're probably going to get your butt out of bed and be there because you don't want to let him or her down. Works like a charm! Hiring a business or financial coach can be a really good tactic for helping you achieve a financial goal and getting through an area where you feel stuck in regards to business. A coach can help you strategically create a plan and hold you accountable to the plan so you reach the next level. But what do ALL of these different kinds of support have in common? The same three questions apply when you recruit them. If you ever get the feeling a person does not truly have your best interests at heart — even if you are paying them — then get rid of them. The Right Way to Ask for Support How do you ask for support? It’s not always easy. If it's a family member or a close friend, sometimes you can simply reach out to them and say, “Hey, I'm really stuck here. I really need some support.” And depending on how close you are to the person, you could say something along the lines of, “Hey, I just had a really bad day. Can you be there for me?”
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Believe it or not, the same sentiment can often work with people who aren’t as close to you. While you might not ask for a hug or put all your emotional “cards” out on the table, you can still be straightforward in asking for help.
Try something like:
“I'm working really hard to achieve this goal, and I really want you to support me with this.”
Or
“I admire what you’ve done, and I would love you to help me and mentor me so I can reach this goal.”
My point is, don’t be afraid to communicate with your support system about what you need. And of course, keep in mind that if you don’t find what you want in a certain person, there are always other people out there. Certain types of people might be more supportive for certain situations. It is up to you to figure out who has your back in what case.
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Overcoming Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back
What holds you back in life? For many of us, the answer to that question is our limiting beliefs.
What are limiting beliefs? Exactly what they sound like: things you believe about yourself that limit your potential.
Limiting beliefs often prohibit people from achieving their goals. It has happened to me. Maybe it's happened to you. But what will you do about it?
For me personally, I wasn't able to overcome any limiting beliefs or things that held me back until I admitted to myself that I had a limiting belief or a mindset that did not serve me. Knowing is half the battle! Write It All Down. Try this: sit at your desk or on your sofa, get out some paper and a pen, then acknowledge and write down what some of your limiting beliefs are. When I first did it, I was surprised at all the wild and crazy ideas that were actually holding me back. Many of these can come from childhood, the early school years, and other early experiences that have no bearing on adult life. You might not recognize all of your own limiting beliefs at first, but you will get better at it. The first step is doing your best to be honest with yourself and be vulnerable. Ask Yourself, “What Do I Want and What Holds Me Back?” Jot down something you want to achieve, whether it’s personal, like a relationship, or related to business or finances. Then, write down whatever your personal views are about achieving it. For example, maybe you want financial success, but you view too much success as “wrong” or that you should only have to do x, y, and z to find it. That's a very common thing: people want to achieve something, yet they feel guilty for wanting “more” out of life. So ask yourself, what is it that you feel guilty about wanting?
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In some cases, your limiting beliefs don’t come from yourself; sometimes, they come from another person with influence over your life — like your mother and father. Even if they didn’t intend to pass on their own limiting beliefs, you may have inherited or learned them over time. Write those things down, as well. Put them all on paper. Remember, you don't need to share this with anybody. Reprogram Your Thinking. Once you have those limiting beliefs listed, write down some ideas on how to reprogram that type of thinking. Say to yourself, How can I change this ? What can I do to overcome this limiting belief? Are there different ways to think about this? Once you have ideas on how to rework your thoughts in a positive way, try these thoughts on for size. Test them, and revisit these limiting beliefs on a regular basis, rewriting them all using the new way of thinking. The sad truth is, we can self-sabotage ourselves with our inner voice. There’s a great book out there that I really recommend called The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. This book talks about that inner voice and how it sabotages our success and makes us generally unhappy. Often, we speak very negatively — or most of us do — in our own heads. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night thinking and worrying about things that in the big scheme of life weren’t that important? That's your negative inner voice. Fortunately, how you respond to it and change it can help you overcome it.
Here is an example of what I mean. An old limiting belief might be:
I 'll never be fit. I can't lose any weight.
A new way to talk to yourself would be :
I love working out. I enjoy eating healthy food, and I hate McDonald's.
Start telling yourself the new script and reprogramming your negative thoughts. This is your life and your script. So remember, you don't need to write someone else's script — your dad's script or even your spouse's — into your life. Your own script should be what you believe is going to help you achieve results.
Here are a few more examples of how to reprogram certain negative thoughts.
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● Negative Thought: None of my new coworkers are going to like me. ● Rewritten Thought: I will slowly but surely find things in common with people and make friends.
● Negative Thought: I’m not smart enough to learn this. ● Rewritten Thought: I can work hard to learn this, and I can ask for help.
● Negative Thought: Life is meaningless. ● Rewritten Thought: I am the one who assigns my life meaning.
● Negative Thought: I ate that bag of potato chips, so I messed up. ● Rewritten Thought: I will have a healthy dinner tonight and take a walk.
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How to Start Every Day Feeling Great
Let's talk about ways to start your day so you feel great and have more energy. Wouldn’t you like to have more energy throughout the day? I think we all would.
Have you noticed that when you start your morning in a frenzy — maybe after hitting snooze one too many times on the alarm then skipping breakfast and rushing out the door with a cup of coffee — the rest of your day just seems to reflect this chaos? The tone of your morning will determine the tone of your day. That said, let’s talk about ways you can plan for a calmer, more strategic day. Don’t look at a smartphone right when your eyes open. Don't check your emails. Don't get your brain thinking about work. You mind and body have been resting and sleeping, and being reminded of the things you’re about to face will rocket your anxiety and stress to the forefront. Instead, slowly wake up. If you have emails you know you need to check at 8:00 a.m., don’t wake up at 7:58. Wake up at least an hour before you need to worry about anything and prepare yourself for the day. If you don’t have a chaotic, rushed morning, it will make a huge difference in how you feel. When we care for ourselves, we are more adaptable to other challenges throughout the day. We can take on tough situations calmly and feel good about ourselves. Have a glass of water first. The second tip for starting a day off well is to have a glass of water first thing. You need to rehydrate your body after so many hours of sleep. Try taking a glass of room temperature or warm (not cold) water, squeezing some fresh lemon into it or topping it off with a teaspoon of pure lemon juice. Drink it first thing, before you even brew a cup of coffee. Warmer water hydrates you more quickly, and the splash of citrus primes your digestive system for the day ahead. I’ve personally been doing this for a while, and I’ll drink the lemon water before my shower so that by the time I’m ready for breakfast a little while later, my body and digestive tract have woken up. It helps with hydration, as well as metabolism. Stretch and get your blood flowing.
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Do you stretch in the morning to get your blood flowing and wake up your body and mind? If not, this is absolutely something you should be doing. Get up out of bed, stretch out all your limbs and do whatever is most comfortable for you. The point is to wake up your circulatory system and eliminate aches and pains. Not only that, stretching increases blood flow all the way up to our brain. Do some deep breathing and meditation. So far, you’ve woken up slowly without your phone, poured a glass of lemon water and stretched out your arms and legs. Make sure you also do some deep breathing and a few minutes of meditation. Breathe in through your nose as deeply as possible and then let it out slowly through your mouth. Do that for a few minutes, just concentrating on each breath going in and out so you're not thinking about work, feeding the dog, mowing the lawn, or whatever you have to do that day. We have more meditation instructions in the pages to follow. Focus on gratitude. The fifth tip for starting out every day the right way is to focus on gratitude. Yes, this is probably what your mom or dad told you to do back when you were a child, and you weren’t necessarily happy about eating your vegetables or not getting the exact backpack you wanted for school. But now that you’re an adult, it’s important to keep your mind focused on the positive things in life and feel gratitude for them. Have you ever noticed that when you focus on the positive, good things seem to happen? If feeling gratitude doesn’t always come easily to you, you can try a gratitude journal to get into the practice. I keep a gratitude journal, as well. During a tough time, a friend of mine gave me a blank journal and asked me to write down the things for which I’m most thankful. At first, I thought keeping the journal was going to be difficult. I started writing down big, general things, like my house. Then, as I got used to writing every day, I started being more grateful about simple things in life, like the sun shining outside. By being purposefully grateful, we can actually reprogram our brains. And a feeling of gratitude can certainly set the tone for a great day. We can set the tone of the day and lead a happier and healthier life by taking a more strategic approach to how we wake up and get started each morning. Don't just let the morning hours “happen to you” — set some things up and have a feel-good routine and plan. Get up a little earlier. Try these things for two weeks and see how you feel. The next thing you know, these routines will become part of a happier life.
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Start Your Own Meditation Routine If you thought meditation was just for seasoned yogis and “granola” types, it’s time to think again. Not only is meditation beneficial for everyone, it’s also easy. Here are the basic points and instructions needed to start meditating. Get into breathable, loose-fitting clothing.
Find a comfortable position, whether you’re lying in bed or on a sofa, sitting on the floor, or in a cozy chair.
Set a time limit for yourself. Experts recommend starting with just 10 minutes and building up to longer periods of time. Any length of time spent meditating can benefit you, even five minutes.
Begin with deep breathing. Put a hand on your stomach and observe how your breath expands your body. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Continue this breathing throughout the meditation period. Keep your eyes closed.
Try to banish all worries and thoughts from your mind. Clear your head of as much as possible, including the future, financial worries, work woes, or anything else.
Be present in the room for that moment. Notice and listen to what is going on around you. This might be a whirring sound from a fan or central air unit, wind or rain outside, the house settling, an appliance running or any other sounds. Don’t get upset with yourself if your mind keeps wandering. This is a normal occurrence, especially for beginners. Simply redirect yourself back to what is happening in the present and continue your deep breathing. Stay relaxed.
In addition to the room, pay attention to your body. Do you feel tired, achy, warm? Make note of those feelings, but do not connect them to thoughts. Let your physical feelings be.
When your 10 minutes (or whatever length of time you meditated for) are up, take a moment to thank your mind and your body for allowing you to meditate. Meditation is an act of love for yourself. It is a gift from you, to you. Take a deep breath, say thank you to yourself, then set the intention to meditate again, perhaps at the same time the next day.
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5 Components for Your Ideal Day Have you ever felt pressure to structure your day the same way as someone else? Maybe you’ve heard contradicting productivity information that confused you. For example, it seems like everyone talks about being a “morning person,” but if you’re a night owl, what do you do about that? Regardless of your past challenges with being productive, you can try this simple strategy for creating an ideal day that works for you. Years ago, when I started my first business, I struggled with how to structure my days. I tried many different productivity methods, including daily planners, productivity apps, books, and various other systems to increase my productivity. While many of the methods were somewhat helpful, I always struggled. Of course, that doesn’t mean these things don’t work for anyone… they just weren’t the right fit for me. What are the 5 components? After much trial and error over the years, I learned the five core components that must fit into my schedule in order to lead a productive and happy life. And I learned how to use them in what I call my own “ideal day framework” so I have good days more often. For example, if all you ever did was work and you never saw family, friends and other people you love, you would most likely become very unhappy. All of your hard work would be pointless without relationships, right? I think it was Dave Ramsey who said, “If you don’t make time to change the oil in your car, then you’ll have to make time to change the engine.” And life works the same way. For example, if you don’t make time for your spouse, you may end up having to “make time” to get divorced. Everyone must do five things on a regular basis to stay productive, happy and fulfilled.
When you create a framework for your ideal day, you can use it to divide your time wisely and intentionally, and you’ll have time for everything in your life that is important to you.
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Understand the 5 core components. Get out a piece of paper and write “My Ideal Day Framework” at the top of it. Below that, put “core components of my day.” And below that, list the five core components you make time for in your ideal day.
Here are the 5 core components that (almost) everyone needs to have a happy and fulfilling life.
#1 Self Care The first one is what I call “self care” because if you don’t take care of yourself, you will be forced to drastically change your lifestyle if you end up facing a serious health problem. Without your health, your wealth, success and everything else you hold dear in life have very little meaning. Taking care of yourself should be a core component of everyone’s ideal day. And when I say “self care,” I mean things like exercising, eating healthy meals, maintaining your mental stability and anything that involves taking care of your body and mind. #2 Work The second core component that (almost) everyone needs to fit into their daily life is work or something that provides financial stability. This likely takes up the majority of your time during your work week. #3 Rest and Recreation The third core component is rest and recreation. I know many people talk about hustling or working harder to be more successful, but many studies have shown that results diminish as you work longer hours. For example, a few summers ago, I slipped and fell down the stairs at my home on my way to work. I dislocated my foot and ended up in a cast. I wasn’t able to do the recreational things that help me rest and recharge, like cycling and kitesurfing. I decided to work more hours to keep myself busy for the summer. But in the end, I got really depressed, burned out and discouraged by working too much. It was a good reminder that more work doesn’t equal more results. As a result, I plan my “rest and recharge” time and try to make it as important as my work. If I’m not rested, I won’t be nearly as productive. #4 Relationships The fourth “core component” of an ideal day is relationships. Many studies have proven that people who have good relationships with other people are the happiest.
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In the past, when I tried to work more hours to increase my success and spent less time with people I love, I quickly lost a sense of purpose in life and got depressed. I highly recommend making relationships a priority and putting them on your ideal day framework.
Relationships are what make life worth living, so don’t take them for granted.
#5 Personal Growth The fifth core component is personal growth and development. When you grow as a person, you feel better about yourself. Plus, your life improves, so it’s a double win. I can attribute a lot of my own success to books I have read, courses I’ve been through, and from things I learned outside of school. Learning something new should always be a goal. Create your ideal day with these components. Now that you have the five core components, you can use them to create your ideal day. How you shuffle them around is up to you. For example, on my workdays, I like to do my “self care” time block first thing in the morning, between 6 and 8 a.m. If I can, I listen to an audible book to learn something new while I exercise or while I have breakfast and coffee. Then I go to work between 8 to 9 and normally come home around 6 or 7 p.m. I spend the rest of my night resting, recharging and spending time with my wife.
As things in life change, you may have to move the core components around to make it work for the stage of life you’re in.
Schedules change a lot, but if you always make time for these 5 core components, you will have a balanced life.
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5 Secrets For a Productive Workday Do you want to have a more productive day? Here are five tips that can make make anyone's day go from “I hardly survived!” to “Wow! I feel accomplished!” With these five tips, you can not only get more done but feel better about each day. #1: Set the tone by having a good morning. The first tip is to start your morning by setting a positive tone for your day. Give yourself enough time to care for yourself and your mind and body. Our health is important on a daily basis. If stress gets us down, we can end up on hamster wheel until it’s too late. Try to meditate, exercise and take time for your physical and mental health first thing. #2: Prioritize your tasks. Tip number two is to prioritize your tasks. Lay out your top priorities in the right order daily, and even weekly, because some tasks may not be able to be completed in a day. Take the high-pressure tasks that you need to get done and crank them out in the morning to get them out of the way first. Then, you can focus on being more creative. I personally hate that feeling of working on a project while I'm thinking about some urgent task I need to get done. Get that out of the way so you can focus on other things later. #3: Forget multitasking. The truth is, it’s better to work on just one thing at a time. Multitasking, even though we’ve been told it’s a good thing, actually just creates stress and anxiety. It's like having a hundred tabs open on your computer browser. Or, for another analogy, it’s like reading a book and jumping from chapter to chapter, just reading bits and pieces. Your brain can't make sense of it and it's not productive. Instead, work on separating your day into blocks, setting time aside for each task and sticking to it. If you tell yourself you’re only going to work on one project for an hour, but you find yourself still on it three hours later, you have failed to use those other two hours for other pressing tasks. Likewise, if you spend one hour trying to do three things, you’ve accomplished next to nothing. #4: Take breaks. Intense focus can drain us, so the fourth tip is to take a break. If you’re working hard on something, step away from the computer about every hour, stretch, and maybe look out the window. When I look out my window, I see the landscape, and it resets my brain.
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#5: Celebrate the wins. Finally, don’t forget to celebrate and reflect on what goes well. This is so important. We need to celebrate our wins. And it’s better to do this one day at a time, not at the end of the year.
When we reflect at the end of each day and make it a point to close out work, we can be more present with family and loved ones.
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3 Easy Tips for Fridays
What if I could tell you three simple tips that would help you have a more successful week? Would you be able to remember them? Would you implement something so simple?
Many of us get to Friday and our brain is absolutely bogged down. It's like a computer that has never been restarted. If we can reset our mind at the end of each week, we will have a more successful new week. Here are three things you can do to have a less stressful, more productive and more profitable new week. 1. Write and reflect on the week that ended. The first thing to do is to take out a notepad and write down everything that happened in the last five days. 2. Ask yourself what could have been better. Number two, review what happened. Look at successes and failures, and see how you can improve. 3. Rewrite things for the week ahead. Number three, plan for the next week. This is a way to think strategically and not just let life happen to you. You can take control and have a less stressful, more productive and more profitable week.
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Increase Productivity by Removing Distractions
You and I both know that distractions are EVERYWHERE these days. It’s not just on the smartphone either; we’re constantly bombarded with interruptions from our kids, neighbors, spouses, pets and that guilty inner voice that tells us to sign up for the Board of Directors. So how can you hush them up? Here are 11 ways to banish pesky distractions and become more productive. #1: Keep a list of distractions. The first tip is to keep a list of distractions. I know it sounds simple, but as you go through your day and stuff comes up, keep a list of interruptions as they happen. Then, divvy up the list at the end of your day. Depending on the importance of what needed your attention, move it down the road to a day later that week to get it done, or whenever you have the time. Instead of just jumping on every little thing like it’s a fire that must be put out, keep a list and revisit that list to get it done later. #2: Limit your screen time. No surprise here: we all need to limit screen time. Speaking of that, most smartphones now have a feature under the settings where you can limit your time on certain apps like social media and anything that distracts you. So if you don't have the discipline to avoid that little urge to check social media or to start a conversation that's not really moving the needle, go into your phone settings and let your phone be the boss. #3: Check your emails and calls at certain times. Another tip is to check your emails and voicemails and make outgoing phone calls at certain times. Try to limit contact time to two or three times a day, instead of always checking and responding to
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everything every three seconds. If you are constantly glancing at your email inbox and notifications all day, your productivity is going to greatly decrease.
You could schedule time for phone and emails for first thing in the morning, around lunch, and at the end of the day so you space it out. Take anything that's high priority and make it earlier in the day; otherwise, move it to a later time. #4: Ask your family not to interrupt you. Don’t be sheepish; ask loved ones not to interrupt you while you’re working. Tell family members that unless it’s an emergency, you need to be “off the grid” for certain hours. If you're constantly taking phone calls or taking care of stuff that's not urgent, it's really easy to get off track. Obviously, family is very important, but it’s better and more relaxing to spend quality time with them outside of work versus constantly communicating with them throughout the day. #5: Turn unnecessary notifications off. I don’t remember which app it was that I had a few years ago, but it would constantly ping me when I was working with emails and text messages. This kind of relentlessness throws you off your game. You’re likely to get distracted because you're struggling with something, and notifications present an easy out to procrastinate. So I turned off these notifications. A lot of times, I take my phone and set it face down a good ways away from me. I don't want it in my pocket, tempting me to look at it. #6: Block out the water cooler talk. I work in an open office with coworkers all around me, so I plug my headphones in and that way, if they're chatting, I don't hear them. I simply focus on my work. If you're at a coffee shop or a place where you don’t have a door to close, put your headphones on. Whatever you can do to focus and put yourself in the zone so you can get more work done is going to help you be more productive. #7: Do your most difficult work at your peak. Whatever work takes the most discipline for you, make sure you schedule it for when you have the most energy. I’m a morning person, so it’s harder for me to make decisions, focus and get stuff done later in the day when my battery drains and I get tired. But some people are more energetic at night. The key is to know when you feel your best and your sharpest, and tackle the hardest projects at that time.
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#8: Avoid busy work. Most of us are going to struggle at some point during the day when we have difficult tasks. And when those tasks come up, it's easy to let other things that can wait until another time suddenly become really important. It’s human nature to want something to relieve the pressure you're under trying to get important tasks done. So we'll do busy work — but busy work is not the best way to spend our time. In fact, it’s just another distraction. #9: Take care of errands on the weekends. Weekends are for going to Home Depot or doing the “Honey Do” list. If you try to cram in your errands during the week, they will just distract you. Unless you’re running errands over lunch and they’re very important, try to save them until the weekend. #10: Save socializing for later. We all want to call friends back or “like” their vacation photos. Save those things for the end of the day when you're not in the middle of work because they’re going to get you off track. And the next thing you know, you just blew three hours on social media liking pictures you don't even care about. #11: Put your phone away at home. Finally, when you're spending time with your loved ones, with your children, with your wife, or with your pet, remember to be present. Turn the phone off, go put it on the charger, and focus on time with loved ones. If you go out to a restaurant, don't start texting or looking at social media. Spend that quality time with your family. This will allow your brain to reboot. You’ll be more rested and recharged for the next sprint if you focus on your family and your loved ones, versus focusing on your phone. So put the phone down, enjoy quality time, and recharge those batteries.
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6 Ways to Start Over After a Setback or Failure
Have you ever had a setback or a failure that really knocked you backward? They happen to all of us. So when it happens, how do you recover? Here are 6 ways to help you pull it together and get back into the game. #1: Be honest with yourself. Always be honest with yourself. I know this may sound stupidly simple, but a lot of times, when we have a setback, we want to blame something or someone else. Until you admit there's a problem that YOU caused, you're not going to be open-minded to the solution that could help you solve it. So start by being honest with yourself. It's not always fun, but it’s important to take a little bit of time to reflect. #2: Forgive yourself. Remember to always forgive yourself. You're not a robot, and you're undoubtedly going to make mistakes. Instead of being hard on yourself and beating yourself up or being unfair to yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself and just let it go. #3: Practice self soothing. You’ve probably heard the term “self soothing” but some of us have not mastered it. Some of us still think this means inhaling a pint of ice cream or having one too many glasses of wine. We can all resort to negative things that are not going to help us and are going to make our situation worse. Instead of these, I highly recommend you do something positive. One of my favorite tips is to get out in nature, whether that's taking a walk, going on a hike, going to the beach, going out on a lake, or whatever inspires you. It’s even better if you can disconnect from electronic devices and get some alone time out in the great outdoors. You'll reset your brain, and you will really help yourself.
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#4: Get plenty of rest and sleep. When you’re facing challenging times or you're going through a stressful situation, sleeping and taking care of yourself can help you overcome it. Rest resets your body. If you aren’t sure you’re getting the right amount of sleep — usually around 7 or 8 hours a night for most people — you can download a sleep-tracking application on your phone. Adjust to get more shut-eye, and you’ll be able to conquer anything you set out to do. #5: Learn from your mistakes. I don't recommend sitting there and dwelling on what happened and beating yourself up, but be honest with yourself, then try to learn from it. Mark those lessons. Make sure you don't forget them for the next time. #6: Actively seek solutions. Always channel any negative energy into positive energy or desire for change or a solution. Once you’ve soothed yourself and figured out the lesson, it’s time to “get back in the saddle.” When setbacks happened in my life, I channel my emotions into finding ways to improve, whether that means logging into YouTube and watching videos, reading inspiring books, or going to workshops.
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